I Gotta Feeling....

That tonight's gonna be a good night......

Looking back, this whole year has been a good one. God has been so very good to us and has blessed us tremendously. I can only turn back and give thanks for how lavishly He has shown His love for us. In terms of hardships, what little we have experienced is such a minuscule amount, and is most certainly bearable compared to those who are suffering in other places in the world.

Some milestones in 2009:

- We survived and celebrated our first year of marriage. We travelled to San Francisco for the Labour Day weekend to enjoy a simple weekend of fun. I have to say, it has not been as hard as some people may suggest the first year of marriage can be. I think we have adjusted well to one another and we work well together. God has given me a wonderful man that I can call my husband. Most certainly, Michael does put up with a lot with me sometimes when I try his patience. I can only hope that as we grow closer to God in this coming year that our marriage will continue to mature and we will grow closer and stronger as a couple.

- We have done our share of travelling. I was able to go to Europe, but only saw some of it as the morning sickness intensified. BUT I did fly home on business class and that was a lifesaver for the pregnant woman who was frequently sick or had to pee every hour. Michael also travelled for an extended period of time to Toronto and Prince George for his work.

- We have grown closer to our family, especially my beloved sister who stayed with me while Michael was out of town. For the most part, all our loved ones' health has been relatively good.

- We both have very well paying jobs, despite the turn in the economy, that have afforded us with a lifestyle that is probably filled with more of our wants than our needs. We are now essentially debt free minus the mortgage on our condo. Wow, I feel so grown-up!

- I got pregnant with identical twin boys! So far, they look to be healthy and happy. We decided early on that we would pass on any genetic screening/testing. It would not change our decision to have these babies, so why fret about something that may or may not possibly be there?

- We were gifted with many things that would take the stress of having two babies to two new parents off our shoulders. We received an SUV, car seats, pretty much Meals on Wheels (home cooking from my aunties), house cleaning (by my awesome mom), and I even got my push gift early!!

Everything that we really want, we have; there's been some sacrifices, but for the most part, we live a very charmed life. Whatever the new year brings, may it be new challenges, I know we'll be in good hands.

Sleep Schedule

I was a little concerned for awhile after I first started to feel movements from my babies, because their activity seemed to decrease as the weeks progressed. I'm not concerned any longer because I've figured out why they haven't been kicking as frequently as they used to.

The babies' sleep schedule is all messed up. They're crazy active during the night, hence why I'm still up at 1:30am, and they sleep mostly during the day. They think it's play time right now so they're both taking turns kicking around and having a great old time while their mother would just like for them to be still and go back to resting so she can get some rest herself.

OH! On a side note, I got two clear 3D pictures of the twins at my last ultrasound appointment as a Christmas present from the technician. It is so amazing!! I think I can see a little bit of their personalities come out from these simple pictures. I can almost see Henrik smiling in his pic and it was Daniel who had his hands by his face this time around when usually it's Henrik who seems to like placing his hands close to his face. They're just precious.

Hiccups

Omg!!! Michael and I just felt Daniel go through a bout hiccups!!! I thought it was Daniel being really active and kicking but these "kicks" would come every few seconds and they're much softer than what a usual kick feels like.

COOL!!!

It's Just One Of Those Days

Today is one of those days. I'm just not a very happy pregnant lady lately and with all the hormones, all I want to do is cry. Well, I actually want to eat, but I can't because I have gestational diabetes, so unless I want to induce myself into a diabetic coma, I have to find other ways to take out my frustration. This has led to some weird and violent dreams. It sometimes involves me physically battering Michael, Chris Brown style. I then wake up to find my poor unsuspecting husband snoring away in Lala Land, and I have no choice but to cover the blanket I've stolen from him back around his shoulders and go have a glass of milk.

Another vice........when I'm in an especially foul mood, I find myself gravitating towards hardcore hip hop/rap. There's something about all the angry lyrics with the explicit language and a good bass that just makes me feel better. I wonder if this will have any long term effects on the babies......I guess we'll find out.

AND I finally called the nurse at the diabetic clinic today and told her that my blood glucose levels are doing much better and that I'm refusing to take insulin. She was not happy and now I have to go in AGAIN to BC Womens next week to see the endocrinologist.......he's really nice.....but really old. I'm so sick of seeing doctors.....specialists especially. They can be so narrow-minded and focused on one thing, rather than looking at the whole picture. If my blood glucose is 0.5 off from the target, I think it's livable. That is not going to grow some crazy macrocosmic babies is it?!??!

Oh well, at least 9 more weeks to go. I had another pep talk with the babies this morning. They are to stay inside the womb as long as physically possible so they can come out nice and healthy, especially since their mommy has to enjoy all these pregnancy woes. The least they can do is stay put.

My Wonderful Husband

It has certainly been a very trying 25th week in my pregnancy. It has left me stressed, exhausted, and irritable. Be warned, I'm not a pleasant person to be around at this time. Through it all, there is my consistent, patient, and loving Michael. Yes, indeed he is a VERY good husband. There is no doubt about that.

Michael is doing a cardiac anaesthesia rotation for the next eight weeks at SPH. He's up at 5am and home usually around 7pm. It's a long day and when he gets home, there's usually more work that he has to complete on the computer. That hasn't left him with very much time to unwind and yet he still finds time to comfort and spend with his wife. I feel very sorry that he has come home to a weepy wife lately with her crazy hormones.

Not long ago, Michael also took his first vacation in SIX MONTHS!! But alas, this was not a typical break where he could kick back and relax from his hectic residency program. Rather, Michael spent his time preparing for the babies' arrival, taking exams, and working on his research project.

So far, he's cleared out the dining room and turned it into his office aka "The Man Corner" with some new additions, and he has cleared out the remnants of the old office aka "The Man Cave", so he could turn that space into our new bedroom. He worked tirelessly (mostly by himself) to get everything done before his vacation week came to an end. The babies' nursery will be in the master bedroom now. It only makes sense since there's more space, it is closer to a larger bathroom with an actual tub, and it's much quieter and cooler during the summer.

Michael tries to attend all my many doctor's appointments when he can get the time off, but most importantly, he's my advocate. When I'm feeling overwhelmed with all the information everyone is trying to push on me, he puts it all into perspective, and only promotes what is best for me. Although Michael is not what you would consider a typical macho male (thank God!!), he is in no way a push-over either. He fiercely protective of his wife. Who says chivalry is dead?

I am extremely proud that my husband has achieved so much on his own and yet is so humble about it. I know that in the back of his mind, while he's working away, he is always thinking about how he can provide his family with a comfortable life where finances are not a constant burden for us. I feel extremely grateful that I have the option of going back to work after maternity leave, not because of necessity, but for the enjoyment and satisfaction of my career.

Michael has had to make some big sacrifices. He really takes the role of being a father and the head of the family very seriously. Everything he does is purposeful, and it's always with the best interests of his wife and unborn children in mind. I hope that in the future, our boys will recognize what an amazing father they have and strive to be as wonderful as he is.

Just An Update

It has been a while since I've blogged, so this entry will be of many random things that have occurred.

Michael has returned from Toronto and he was quite astonished by how much my tummy has grown since he left. I am not quite accustomed to how large it is now. Lately my belly button has been in a few accidents involving corners and blunt objects. I believe it's because of my height and where everything corresponds to that. It's very sensitive. I'm hoping I have enough "padding" that it doesn't cause any brain damage to Henrik.

Speaking of names, rather than calling the twins Baby A (left) and Baby B (centre), we've decided to call them Daniel and Henrik according to their positions. They're only nicknames, so don't get too used to calling them that!! We're still deciding on actual names at the moment.

My nausea and vomiting seems to have tapered off some. The last episode was on Sunday, but I'm still continuing to take my Diclectin which actually does help with the hyperemesis gravidarum.

My mood has also changed somewhat lately due to all the hormone fluctuations. There are good days and bad days. An example, Michael found me in the bathroom not too long ago sobbing because I had ran out of shampoo.........

I took and failed my glucose screening test, so on Monday I had to have a glucose tolerance test. Those tests are not fun......trying to hold down the vomit, the cold sweating, and visual impairment. I'll know soon whether or not I have gestational diabetes. But here's my thought. The babies will probably come early and that usually translates to smaller babies. If I don't manage my diabetes then there is a chance the babies will be larger and have a lower chance of being in the NICU.......I'll have to bounce that off with my OB.

Three More Sleeps!!!

Michael will be home from Toronto in a few days. I'm elated!! We have never been apart for such a long period of time. I know it is something positive in terms of his training and career path but it is not something I would like to repeat again.

Lately my tummy has been very itchy due to the stretching that has been happening. I have this really thick cream that I have to smear on to prevent more stretch marks. It smells really familiar but I just couldn't put my finger on where I had used this cream before. That is until Meghan finally remembered we used to use this hand cream from Aveda that smells exactly like that. I wonder if they just put the same cream into a different bottle and call it anti-stretch mark cream.

Oh and my bellybutton is fully on its way of becoming an outie. Totally grosses Meghan out!

Still waiting for the unadjuvanted H1N1 vaccine.... still under house-arrest. *sigh*

Now that Michael's in Toronto for four weeks, I have Meghan to keep me company. She's basically living here on an air mattress until Michael returns. Pretty awesome sister!!

We finally made a trip out to Costco yesterday to buy some much needed fruit and sustenance. I've discovered that I can eat and LOVE mini quiches!! They are so delicious and agreeable to the babies!! Yipee!!

I'm trying to read as much as I can right now about growing and raising twins. There's so much information and I'm having a grand old time sorting through it all. I question some of these websites and books though. I don't think the authors have had twins or just went insane trying to raise them. There's some pretty nutty advice out there.

Things They Don't Tell You About Pregnancy

Lately I find myself tuning into the TLC show 18 Kids and Counting , which chronicles the life of the Duggar family, who also happen to have 18 children (plus one more on the way). The mom, Michelle Duggar, has given birth EIGHTEEN times!!! Some of the births were through C-section, some where natural (no anesthetic), and some where even home births! I'm quite impressed by how well she handles her pregnancies. Always very kind, not a mean bone in her body, even when she's going through all the blah times that comes with pregnancies.

I on the other hand.........not doing so great. Just ask Michael. For the last few months he has been my neglected and abused husband. Which brings me to my topic. Why do people down-play or don't tell you all that happens when you're pregnant!??! If I had known this before, I still would have wanted a baby.......but much later down the road. I would need a lot of time to psych myself up for the pregnancy to come.

For starters, you have to use the washroom a lot. If you really know me, then you'll know that I hate using public restrooms (ie. bathrooms that are not in your own home). I will go the whole day sometimes at work and not pee until I get home. That's almost 10 hours (yes, I know, my poor kidneys). It's practically a phobia! Now, I have to go every hour and it isn't like the "oh yes, I have to pee" feeling, it's the "I'm gonna pee my pants if I don't find a toilet now" urgency.

Secondly, you're always thirsty. I'm not sure if this has anything to do with the medication or pre-natal vitamins that I'm taking. I'm just always parched and require a lot of water/juice/pop, whatever I can get my hands on. I was worried it may be a sign of gestational diabetes but that doesn't seem to be it. The OB said it's common.......

Sleep deprivation has also been added to the list of things I didn't know about being pregnant. It's hard to get a good night's rest when you have to pee every hour and the babies just aren't positioned comfortably. It's darn right miserable. Sometimes I feel like a zombie all day but the minute I put my head down, I'll get heartburn or nasal congestion or something and then it will be another restless night.

Body change...I'm not going to go into detail about this, but it happens, and it happens fast! EVERYTHING changes, believe me, I'm living it. Michael keeps asking with that worried tone if my body will ever return to normal. I sure hope so. OH! And the acne! *sigh* I feel like I'm fourteen all over again.

So far, food cravings and aversions have been pretty mild. No real cravings. The only thing I cannot tolerate is too much are garlic and onions. That will get me barfing in no time. Otherwise, it's pretty good. There are also a lot of different foods out there that I have to avoid as well. Such as smoked salmon, sashimi, deli meats, soft cheeses/pate, uncooked sprouts, large fish (ie.tuna), caffeinated drinks, alcohol....the list goes on and on. And now that I can't have it, I want it! Even BEER. I'm not a beer drinker, never have been, but now I want a cold beer so badly. The good thing is Michael hates any kind of alcohol so he doesn't drink and I don't have to watch him drink. I think he's been dying to pour the remaining liquor in our pantry down the drain.

Lastly, and the hardest thing about pregnancy, before the labour and birth that is, is the morning sickness. I know with twins, there's going to be more hormones, which means more violent bouts of sickness. I HATE vomit. I hate how you feel before you vomit, and when you're vomiting, and when it's over. It's just awful. I applaud all those mothers out there who toughed it out and didn't take anything to help with nausea/vomiting. They're crazy hardcore!! I cannot live without my Diclectin. It is the saving grace when it comes to morning sickness, and sometimes it doesn't always do the trick.

Is it worth all this grief? I think so. Even though I haven't met these two babies, I already know I love them so very much.

Living/Breathing Baby Growing Machine

I am officially just a living, breathing, baby growing machine. I really needed that bad day at the office to realize how much stress and discomfort I was placing on the babies just so I could feel like I still had a "career". So for now, I am done working. After the babies are a year old, then I'll see if there is 1) time and 2) the desire to go back to work and raise two kids.

Many many people have told me this over and over again. Caring for twins will keep me very, very, very, VERY busy. So far though, I'm just enjoying my time before they're born.

I have also heard that expectant mothers go through a time where they like to "nest". Apparently it is this primal urge to prepare for their baby, and it usually involves a lot of house cleaning, re-arrangement of furniture etc. So far, I'm still my very messy self, which drives Michael bonkers. Maybe that's why he decided to take that elective in Toronto for 4 weeks. Today is only Day 1. I miss him terribly, but not enough yet to take a plane ride in economy to visit him. Yes, once you've been in business class while pregnant, there's no turning back.

What a fun packed day I had yesterday. I went back to work after a week of sick leave only to see four patients before the nausea and vomiting took over.

Not a great start but I did have my first OB appointment in the afternoon. Thank goodness Michael was there. There is a LOT of information to take in but I feel like I'm in really good hands with my OB. Dr. Bloomenthal has a lot of practical advice and she's very understanding. Apparently she specializes in complicated pregnancies which I didn't know when I first contacted her.

We had our second ultrasound at her office, and from what she could see, both babies are doing well. They are active and have strong heartbeats. Although it's still a little early to definitively say, but one of the babies looks to be a boy and both are sharing a placenta with no membrane separating them. From that conclusion, she thinks we're having IDENTICAL TWIN BOYS!!

This means I have to have ultrasounds every two weeks at BC Women's Hospital to make sure they stay healthy. Good times!!

Vomiting Saga Continues

Ok, it's not all about the barfing but I have to comment that last night's little up-chuck session made even Michael pretty nauseated himself.

Anyway, the topic of me working continues to plague us. I'm taking a week of sick leave and so far there are days when I feel really good but there are days when it's really bad. I've suggested cutting down on my work days to start but Michael is just not sure if I can continue working without puking on my patients. Being an adult can be tough at times. I'm not quite ready to give up my career even though I joke about being a lady of leisure sometimes, but at the same time I have to think about growing and raising two healthy babies.

I've been praying about my job situation for awhile now. God has provided me with a wonderful, well-paying job. And it seems that if I were to stop working today, everything would be in place that we could manage financially but we wouldn't be living like we're used to. Maybe this is a lesson for me to let go and just trust what God has planned for us is the best.

Unexpected Surprises

In July, we learned that I was pregnant. It's a very emotion-filled time when you just learn that you're going to have a baby. Lots of things run through your head. You're excited and a little scared at the same time. I understand why so many people wait until the 2nd trimester to tell their friends and family, just in case the pregnancy is not viable.

That month I must have taken nine of those home pregnancy tests just to be sure that I was really pregnant. Yes, they really can detect the hCG hormone much earlier BUT that little positive sign is sooooo faint that you just can't be sure....

We really wanted to wait before we told anyone, but it just so happens that I'm a horrible liar and it also just so happened that my aunt decided to pat my tummy and asked if I was expecting. What the heck!??! I'm not even supposed to be showing yet and she thinks I'm pregnant already? So the next thing you know, my family knows and of course we had to tell Michael's parents as well. So much for keeping it a secret.

Not long into the pregnancy I started feeling the dreaded morning sickness. It didn't happen in the morning at first, it usually hit after work, right before dinner. Then the next week it would be in the afternoons right after lunch. Soon it ended up being ALL day and included vomiting as well. From everyone that I had talked to about morning sickness, this was unusually bad. There would be times when I had to pull over on the side of the road just to vomit. My doctor prescribed all sort of meds for me and still the sickness continued. Anyway, my lovely nausea/vomiting eventually cut short my vacation with my mom and sister in the beautiful Mediterranean.

Once I returned home, Michael insisted that we visit our GP since we did not have an appointment yet to see our obstetrician and her assistant had mentioned that we should have had an early ultrasound. With a little more pushing we were able to get a drop-in spot at the Chinatown Ultrasound Clinic. Yes, it was a little ghetto.

Now we knew there could be a chance that I was pregnant with twins. First, twins runs in my family, secondly I was just more sick during this pregnancy than most and thirdly I looked way more pregnant than the 14 weeks that I was.

Finally the technician brought me into the room. You're supposed to drink a lot of water before your ultrasound so that the imaging is better or something like that. At this point I was ready to burst. Unfortunately, Michael was not allowed into the room until the tech finished doing all her measurements so that she wouldn't miss anything. She found my uterus with the ultrasound wand and there were these two irregular blobs in the middle. She starts asking me questions about how many kids I have, how many I wanted, and I mention to her that we had joked about having twins and getting it all over and done with in one go. That's when she finally confirmed what I saw was for real. We're having twins!! At this point I'm crying, asking for my husband, and I'm just completely elated! It's unbelievable!! Then she let me listen to their heartbeat and starts taking stills of their bodies, hands, etc. FINALLY Michael is allowed in and told the good news and she goes through everything again.

After all the excitement about having twins subsides, you start to think about what you need to do to keep them healthy and well. There's so much that can go wrong esp. with two babies. So far things are well.

How It All Began

Not too long after getting married, after our amazing honeymoon in Tahiti, after our second honeymoon in wonderful Prince George (yes, I'm being sarcastic), and after settling into our new apartment.......my thoughts began to wonder as I went back to work. What would be the next step in our life?

Michael and I had talked about having children. We could see kids in our future, but it was agreed upon that we would wait until he was finished his anesthesia residency before we should start the discussion again about having kids. That meant waiting till July of 2011. I had heard from several of his colleagues that having kids during the residency program can leave their partner feeling like a single parent a lot of the times with the hectic hospital schedules/hours, exams, presentations, etc.

As with everything in life though, things can change. I have to admit there were some outside influences, as the majority of hygienists at my office were either pregnant or on maternity leave, and there were all those cute kids running around our church. I admit I had "babies" on the brain.

So what started off as our little joke turned into something more. It became a daily occurrence that once I returned home from work, I would find Michael in the office, give him a kiss, and exclaim "let's have a baby!" To which he would give me the typical line of "aiyah" and "you're crazy!"

I'm thinking that this wore away at him and got him thinking, because in May, during his holiday week, he snuck out to Tiffany and Co. and bought me a little gift. As in true Michael fashion, he never presents a gift to me, he hides it so either when I wake or go to sleep it will be the first or last thing I see.

Of course I almost lost an eye that night when he stuck the big blue box on my pillow which my head came crashing down on in the dark. After the initial shock of receiving something from Tiffany's, a wave of panic hit me as I tried to remember if I had forgotten about a birthday or anniversary. Mind you, this box was unusually large to have fit a ring or earrings. Inside was a silver baby rattle from Tiffany's. Just like the one Trey gave to Charlotte on Sex and the City!!! And that's how Michael told me he's ready to start a family.

That rattle has since been discontinued!! If anyone knows where I can purchase another one that would be great. More to come!